Monday, June 2, 2008

Never take your mother to the bar....

So to start off my blogging, I thought this would be the perfect story. This happened quite a few months ago, but I was told this is worth blogging about.

My brother and I were headed out to a casual night at the bar with some friends and our mom initially joking around decided she wanted to join us. I didn't really think it would be that big of a deal and actually thought it would be a good time. Get 2 glasses of wine in her and she's a riot! This envoked mybrother's girlfriend to invite her parents and we were all looking forward to a good night out.

So skipping ahead - PAST the 2 glasses of wine - my mother is singing, hugging people, and almost climbed on the bar to dance with the band's lead guitar player. "Embarassing" doesn't even sum it up. She was WAY past her limit.

Here we are outside on the sidewalk waiting for her to finish a cigarette and she falls on her caboose on the wet, rainy sidwalk. I was done. My boyfriend Rick had to help her to the car. She passed out immediately------or so I thought.

I feel the cold, damp air from an open windo in the back and instantly smelled something terrible. Rather than asking to pull over, mom had decided to roll down the window and toss her cookies from the moving car. For those of you who ever find the need to do this, here is my one word of advice: DON'T.

The puke did not go out the window, but rather came back inside due to the wind. It was outside the car, inside the backseat, on the ceiling, in the way back (trunk) and even somehow got around the car on the outside of the back door! I had all to do not to blow it myself.

I got her home and, with the assistance of my brother and my dad, undressed her to her "unmentionables" (I won't mention what Joe and I had to see in the process). Dad cleaned out her vomit-soaked hair and put her to bed to await the hangover that would be there to greet her int he morning. My wonderful bf cleaned out as much of the "stuff" from my car including the door's side pockets where it had pooled. If I had done it, I would have just made more of a mess.

Mom did pay to have the inside of my car cleaned and detailed but I leave you with this helpful advise:

Never take your mother to the bar.

1 comment:

Agnewbie said...

I LOVE YOUR MOM! Starting a blog was a fantastic idea. Who hinted you should do it? :-) I think you should share the profits with that wonderful person when your blog becomes an internet sensation.

<3 your bff Rose.