Most guys nowadays are obsessed with "the shocker," my brother included. If you don't know what that is, please look it up at http://www.urbandictionary.com/.
Joe and some of his buddies have a hand sticker on the back of their cars making this lovely gesture. On my way home from work a couple of weeks ago, I called home to see what was for dinner. After discussing our dinner options, mom asked if I knew what that hand sticker is on the back of Joe's car. My response was to ask Joe. She told me she did and he wouldn't tell her.
I went back and forth with her b/c I didn't want to tell her either. Its not something you jsut come out to tell your mother and I didn't know how to explain this over the phone without saying "2 in the p**k, 1 in the st**k."
I finally gave in and talked her through making the gesture with her own hands and explaining what was done with the "2" and what was done with the "1." There was a slight pause and I said, "get it?"
She got it alright and then informed me that my brother's friend put one of these stickers on the back of his mother's car and she didn't know what it was or even that it was there!
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Monday, June 2, 2008
Never take your mother to the bar....
So to start off my blogging, I thought this would be the perfect story. This happened quite a few months ago, but I was told this is worth blogging about.
My brother and I were headed out to a casual night at the bar with some friends and our mom initially joking around decided she wanted to join us. I didn't really think it would be that big of a deal and actually thought it would be a good time. Get 2 glasses of wine in her and she's a riot! This envoked mybrother's girlfriend to invite her parents and we were all looking forward to a good night out.
So skipping ahead - PAST the 2 glasses of wine - my mother is singing, hugging people, and almost climbed on the bar to dance with the band's lead guitar player. "Embarassing" doesn't even sum it up. She was WAY past her limit.
Here we are outside on the sidewalk waiting for her to finish a cigarette and she falls on her caboose on the wet, rainy sidwalk. I was done. My boyfriend Rick had to help her to the car. She passed out immediately------or so I thought.
I feel the cold, damp air from an open windo in the back and instantly smelled something terrible. Rather than asking to pull over, mom had decided to roll down the window and toss her cookies from the moving car. For those of you who ever find the need to do this, here is my one word of advice: DON'T.
The puke did not go out the window, but rather came back inside due to the wind. It was outside the car, inside the backseat, on the ceiling, in the way back (trunk) and even somehow got around the car on the outside of the back door! I had all to do not to blow it myself.
I got her home and, with the assistance of my brother and my dad, undressed her to her "unmentionables" (I won't mention what Joe and I had to see in the process). Dad cleaned out her vomit-soaked hair and put her to bed to await the hangover that would be there to greet her int he morning. My wonderful bf cleaned out as much of the "stuff" from my car including the door's side pockets where it had pooled. If I had done it, I would have just made more of a mess.
Mom did pay to have the inside of my car cleaned and detailed but I leave you with this helpful advise:
Never take your mother to the bar.
My brother and I were headed out to a casual night at the bar with some friends and our mom initially joking around decided she wanted to join us. I didn't really think it would be that big of a deal and actually thought it would be a good time. Get 2 glasses of wine in her and she's a riot! This envoked mybrother's girlfriend to invite her parents and we were all looking forward to a good night out.
So skipping ahead - PAST the 2 glasses of wine - my mother is singing, hugging people, and almost climbed on the bar to dance with the band's lead guitar player. "Embarassing" doesn't even sum it up. She was WAY past her limit.
Here we are outside on the sidewalk waiting for her to finish a cigarette and she falls on her caboose on the wet, rainy sidwalk. I was done. My boyfriend Rick had to help her to the car. She passed out immediately------or so I thought.
I feel the cold, damp air from an open windo in the back and instantly smelled something terrible. Rather than asking to pull over, mom had decided to roll down the window and toss her cookies from the moving car. For those of you who ever find the need to do this, here is my one word of advice: DON'T.
The puke did not go out the window, but rather came back inside due to the wind. It was outside the car, inside the backseat, on the ceiling, in the way back (trunk) and even somehow got around the car on the outside of the back door! I had all to do not to blow it myself.
I got her home and, with the assistance of my brother and my dad, undressed her to her "unmentionables" (I won't mention what Joe and I had to see in the process). Dad cleaned out her vomit-soaked hair and put her to bed to await the hangover that would be there to greet her int he morning. My wonderful bf cleaned out as much of the "stuff" from my car including the door's side pockets where it had pooled. If I had done it, I would have just made more of a mess.
Mom did pay to have the inside of my car cleaned and detailed but I leave you with this helpful advise:
Never take your mother to the bar.
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